The decision to put your whole life on eBay is not taken lightly. But once taken, a rush of energy and a sense of elation takes hold. Then there's the coughing as your burrowing dislodges years of dust.
When I say my whole life is on eBay, I might be exaggerating just slightly. But basically everything I own is coming under intense scrutiny, and 83% of it is up for sale. There are things I felt I could never part with, which now I can't wait to enshrine in bubble wrap and entrust to Australia Post.
(Whoever else is making money on eBay, the Post Office is creaming it.)
I now have CHOAS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) as there is stuff literally everywhere all over my apartment. Yes, Rev - literally. Me and my laptop and my tape measure and my scales crouch in a small clearing, surrounded by tottering piles. I sleep with clothing scattered all over the bed. (Don't you wish you knew my username so you could buy some of that stuff)
Everyone wants in. Somehow the idea excites or scares or challenges people. Although some are initially taken aback, now I'm a clearinghouse for friends' bits and bobs. Oh you should see the garments the Gucci Mama has given me to sell, with the swing tags twinkling in the light.
I wrap everything beautifully. I would say it is in my nature to do so, but also I think of the people receiving the items, and the pleasure they will get. More than that, I have realised I'm honouring my things, having a little moment with them before they are sent away. Because it's not that I don't like them.
Funny, the handful of things that gave me a real pang to list, I thought, okay if it doesn't sell, you can keep it. You know the tag of that story. They all sold.
I try to write lively & engaging descriptions. And I am scrupulous about indicating faults.
But describing is not easy. You may think, oh yes, this top is funky, I'll put funky. Then you find yourself holding up a top and staring at it for minutes at a time as you interrogate the question, "Is this top really 'funky'? Or not? Is it perhaps 'spunky'? If I call it 'groovy' is that a naughty fib?"
Here are some of my favourite describing words: fresh, suave, pretty, unusual, wild, stylish, elegant, cheeky, classic, soft, divine, unique, jazzy, snazzy, crisp, chic, fab.
Here are some of the colour names I used: asparagus, deep leaf, donkey, crimson, dirty brown, mushroom, oatmeal (trying very hard not to say 'beige'), french blue, powder blue, navy, peach, chocolate, grey marle, silver, black, deep black & true black.
And I'll be doing some "live" selling too. Schmoopy & I are having a stall at Rozelle Markets on Sunday. Come down & say hi.
20 comments:
Got any underwear for sale? I'm asking for a friend. Really I am.
I put my life on eBay, but no-one wanted it.
mike: Tell your friend that he (or she) is a filthy, dirty, disgusting, filthy, brazen, impolite, filthy ... oh! ...
er, sorry mike, what were you saying?
anaglyph: Does that mean it's worthless or priceless?
Well let me put it this way - I just sold an old desk fan that doesn't even work for $10.
Hey, how come my new desk fan doesn't even work?!?
I want autographed DVD's of some of your old films
anaglyph: So, both then.
Atlas: Caveat emptor.
malach: Wait for the sparkling new one. Let us be forward-looking! (not backward-old-film-watching.)
I would like anything you are selling in the color "donkey".
Just because I like donkeys.
And I like the word, "donkey."
Donkey, donkey, donkey, donkey.
Although, I'm not quite sure what the color "donkey" really looks like...
I'm fascinated by the color donkey too! However, I worry about you being "surrounded by tottering piles" ...
Does the donkey wear panties?
Again, a friend wants to know. If he does, I, er, he says he will take a few pairs.
Just ship them to me and I'll see to it he gets them.
hereT: Yes, donkey is an attractive word, and an attractive colour. I use it for that nice mid-brown (at the darker end of mid) that has some grey in it. You'd know it if you saw it.
sara sista; I'm more likely to be crushed by one of the piles of books by my bed than smothered by clothing.
mike: Sure. But the donkey is an ass.
My plan is to avoid stuff. My folks just gave us some nice useful furniture for our empty house which is great, but they also gave us some other stuff that they didn't have the "heart" to sell to a stranger so they gave it to us.
So I'm getting rid of their stuff that they couldn't.
I want a groovy asparagus-colored desk fan.
I'd take a cheeky one, too.
We are getting ready to unload lots of things on eBay. That or have a big bonfire. I always like it when I order things and they are nicely wrapped. It is a nice surprise.
I bought Dik Cheney's Sense of Decency on Ebay back in '89. It was small and withered- actually, it may just have been a raisin.
cuntie: Good plan. Clear surfaces, darling, clear surfaces.
colonel: What about a cheesy one?
chickie: You will be so happy to start clearing. And the wrapping is fun, too.
you flybaby you lol
212: That's me. (thanks for dropping by)
You know, I really don't stop by here enough. It seems like every time I do, I enjoy what I find, but I still kept forgetting to add you to my weekly visit list.
I have to say, I really envy people that can do what you're doing. I guess I'm kind of a pack rat, so I end up with drawers and drawers, and trunks and closets and more drawers, packed in rooms, full of stuff. One of these days, I'll get the nerve to get a few boxes of garbage bags, and just toss it all. Well, most of it... See? The last line just goes to show, I'm not ready yet!
Miss Girl: Thanks for coming by, however frequently. Stuff is a tough one. The worst thing, I think, is forcing yourself to get rid of things you love, then regretting it.
If you do want to make space, do it at an even pace. Do one drawer. And even if you put everything back again, congratulate yourself for getting one drawer done. Then tackle the next one another time.
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